As I’m sitting here writing my first entry for the blog, I’m in a state of self-doubt along with this amazing amount of excitement. This is something that I have dreamed of doing. I always felt like I had something to say and there is someone out there that could benefit from hearing my story. You would think that after having this reoccurring dream I wouldn’t be nervous or scared but all I can seem to think about is what could go wrong
And then I had to yell at myself “STOP that shit(lol)!!!!!!!!!”
I have put the #thriveinyourdopeness on my pictures and statuses for a long time, and here I am avoiding mine, THE AUDACITY!
“It’s not how you are that holds you back, It’s who you think you’re NOT”
Thriving in your dopeness can be interpreted in many ways but for me it’s about loving yourself, accepting the things that need work, and not shutting yourself out of your greatness because of fear of success or what others may think. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t easy. Shoot, I’m still working on it and from the conversations I’ve had with both men and women, it’s an ongoing journey. Our inquisitive minds can’t help but question everything, ourselves included. I just have to say to myself every day that I will not fall victim to my thoughts and let them keep me from living to my full potential.
I think back to the many times that I would talk myself out of my own dopeness. I mean look at me, I’m a 36yr old wife and mommy to 5, pursuing college, and a career in mental health. I know that education doesn’t have an age requirement but right now the WHY is the focus. WHY did I talk myself out of pursuing my dreams! WHY did I use my kids as a reason not to come into my own! WHY did I let our military life keep me from finding an identity! WHY am I so scared! WHY am I letting my Anxiety win! WHY do I think I don’t deserve to be here. These are the questions I have let hinder me over the years and now I’m sitting in therapy trying to figure out why. It’s crazy how I can sit in anyone’s front row and genuinely cheer them on. Yet I rip myself apart just for implying I can do something special or life-changing. I’m working so hard to finally believe that my experience and my compassion can help heal my own wounds while helping someone else.
“Presence isn’t about pretending to be competent; it’s about believing in and revealing the abilities you truly have. It’s about shedding whatever it is that’s blocking you from expressing who you are. It’s about tricking yourself into accepting that you’re indeed capable”
Finding out what makes you thrive will be a journey but it’s 100% necessary in order to figure out who you really are in the purest form. Those layers of you are important, even the not so great layers. Hey, be the Shrek in your story with your many many layers. I just ask that you explore every single one of those layers to learn about yourself and to give others the opportunity to SEE you. When we explore those layers of ourselves we can find out how glorious we really are. You will build so much faith in yourself that YOU could actually make that self-doubt voice quiet to a whisper. In this moment you will shine so bright that it will spark a light in other’s. I mean that’s the goal, right? Finding our light so it can help someone find theirs. Did you know that one lightbulb’s distance of light is only two feet so just imagine how bright we could be together? We need each other to grow and to make sure we ALL win!
“You are worth finding. Worth knowing. Worth loving. You and your many layers”
- Thrive: Prosper; Flourish
- Prosper: Make successful
- Flourish: Grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as a result of a particularly favorable environment
Thrive in everything that is you! The parts that need some attention and the parts that will soon blossom. You have to be excited about the person you will become and not let anyone water down your dopeness because it doesn’t belong to them, don’t give them that power. Thrive in your story and all the lessons you have learned along the way, don’t shy away from your past and STOP muting what you could bring to this world. I have muted myself for far too long and I have nothing to show from that. Coming from a darkness that was so dark I didn’t think I would make it. I have nothing to lose now so why not be transparent with the hope that telling my story can help someone come out of their darkness. I didn’t always thrive in being me but I’m working on it and have come a long way in the last 7 months. This world can use everything that you have inside of you, all you have to do is find your glow and flourish in it without a bit of care. Thrive on, my kings and queens and leave your stamp on this world.
Fabulously Flawed and Trying