I have been putting this list together and working on implementing it into my everyday life since this past summer. As you all know, I deal with depression and anxiety but I have been working so hard to not let it hold me captive anymore and in the process of that this list emerged. I know the whole “living my best life” thing everyone shouts but this is something a little different. I added “FREE”! I had to personally add free because feeling and being FREE matters the most to me. When you have been living in a mental box your whole life you want to live as free as possible. I want to take full advantage of every single day that I have on this earth and I want to enjoy my time with everyone that I love the most. So let us get to this! Now, this is a personal list for ME to live a free and happy life. Maybe reading my list will inspire you to come up with your own list…
Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better!!!!
20. GET UP AND CLEAN HOUSE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY… Clutter can make you feel overwhelmed. The disarray of your home and mind can spill into your outside life. Now, don’t get it twisted I’m not speaking about those clothes you need to fold and put away because no one needs that kind of negativity(lol). But everything and everyone else, clean that up. Delete everything and everyone from your social media and inner circle that make you feel down and/or make you feel the need to compromise your growth.
19. GET A THERAPIST/COUNSELOR… You already know why this is so important. If you want to finally live a free life on your own terms you have to talk to someone about the things that were blocking you from living free in the first place. We all need one, even you “normal” folks.
18. CONFIDE IN THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU… Did you know that vulnerability brings freedom? Letting your support system actually support you is a healthy way to not only give you the opportunity to free yourself from past issues and feelings but it will also solidify a deeper connection with the people you love that’s built on trust and openness. Who doesn’t want a “ship” that everyone involved can be open and honest in. Be honest with them and let them be honest with you. Make sure you guys laugh and laugh as often as possible. You want healthy “SHIPS” around you.
17. BE OKAY WITH NOT GETTING CLOSURE... Getting physical closure to a situation is a mental roller coaster that you shouldn’t even put yourself on because you might not get what you’re looking for. Some things you should just write on a piece of paper and let it blow in the wind.
16. Learn to pray with your heart and grace. Find comfort in your faith let it fill you up and give you peace.
15. READ… Read your bible or whatever book that brings you spiritual balance. Read books that help you see the world, see yourself, help you be more present in your life, and books that challenge you to become a better and happier version of yourself.
“The only way to live free, the only way to live your life as an offering of love, is to feel everything fully and open…
14. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR YOUR CHILD AND ADULT TRAUMA… Know that you ARE a victim so your emotions and your cautious behavior is valid, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You have to find a way to stop holding yourself hostage to what happened to you. TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!
13. FIND PEACE IN THE MISTAKES YOU HAVE MADE… We all make mistakes and sometimes they can have some detrimental consequences but that’s a part of life. We have to learn from those mistakes not beat ourselves up for them. Yes, you may have handled things in a not so great way but as long as you look back and see where you could have done something different, you’re ahead of the game. Make sure you apologize to who you hurt including yourself and don’t forget to change the behavior.
12. JOURNAL, JOURNAL, AND JOURNAL SOME MORE… Get a journal and write things out but here is a little added bonus, LET SOMEONE READ IT! Yep, you read it right. You can’t keep telling your side of the story to yourself. Sometimes you have to get it out in the open where you can hear it out loud and discuss it with someone. Doing this gives you the opportunity to HEAR where you were wronged, where you wronged someone, where you can improve, and possibly give you a clear head to talk it out in a mature manner. Now don’t just write about the bad stuff. Write down the things that inspire you and the things that you have talked yourself out of over the years. Write down all your dreams, research and connect with someone with knowledge in that field, and start knocking those goals off your list. Be the motivation you need.
11. STOP BEING PRE-UNDERSTANDING OF EVERYONE’S SITUATION… Pre-understanding (yes I made it up lol) is a horrible habit to break once you start doing it. I define pre-understanding by giving people the benefit of the doubt before you even tell them something is wrong. For example; you will say to yourself about a person who actually hurt you that “they’re are going through something right now and they didn’t mean it”, you will literally forgive them without ever expressing your feelings. Now once you start doing this it is very hard to stop and you will be doing this for everyone in your life, which will leave you drained and feeling unloved. You have to give people an opportunity to fix their wrongdoings even if it’s a simple “I’m sorry”. Speak up for yourself! Now does this mean shout out your issues over a dinner party, NO. This means that you talk to the person that hurt your feelings, ask them when is a good time to talk about something that’s important to you, let them know that you understand that they’re going through something, and in a compassionate manner tell your friend how you feel. If it’s a true friendship they should want to get to the bottom of it. This goes for family also!!
10. TAKE TIME TO YOURSELF… Take yourself on walks, go on a hike, and find time to meditate. Being next to water can be very calming and freeing also. So I encourage you to take a stroll next to ANY body of water to calm yourself and to just appreciate GODS work.
9. BREAK UP AND BREAKAWAY… You have to get rid of anyone that isn’t in the cheering section of your healing, growing, and manifesting. Your whole circle should be this bundle of support that every single one of y’all feels like they can accomplish anything in the world. You all should be patting each other on the back during celebrations and holding each other accountable when it’s needed.
8. BE OKAY WITH YOU… You have to find a way to be madly in love with yourself because when people do things out of love they tend to stick to it and it will become a lifestyle change. Your weight, skin, hair, and even career choice are all things that can be changed so why beat yourself up for them. All the gym memberships and degrees won’t make you happy until you become happy with yourself.
7. TRAVEL… If you can travel somewhere new on regular bases, GO. Now if you can’t just take a trip whenever you want I say explore right where you are. Get on google and become a tourist right there in your hometown or go on a quick road trip. Just get out in the world and out of your comfort zone.
6. DONATE YOUR TIME… Donating your time to charities or programs that cater to either your hobbies, mental challenges, or career endeavors can really bring a feeling of fulfillment over you. Just being around people with the same interests and/or maybe similar mental challenges can be healing and therapeutic for everyone involved. Helping others can sometimes mean that you’re on the path to your healing.
5. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF… Speak your mind even if it’s to yourself. You’re tired, you have had enough, you’re ready to move on, you want more, or you aren’t satisfied. You don’t want kids, you don’t want to be married, or you love differently the list can go on and on. It does not matter what it is, just know in order for you to be comfortable in your skin you have to first be able to look at the skin you’re in and love it.
4. DO WHAT MAKES YOU UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY… Dance badly, sing badly, paint, or anything that you do that makes you feel carefree and creative. Learn something new and see how it speaks to your soul. Just do it and make sure it makes you smile from your heart.
3. GET SEXY AND DO A PHOTO SHOOT… What better way to see yourself in a brand new light than in a grown-up photo shoot. I’m talking get a photographer and let yourself be free and extra AF!
2. DATE AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS… Either date yourself or someone else, either way, get out there in the world and get to know someone while getting to know yourself. It’s always something you can learn from someone you just have to get out there and let them see how amazing you are.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…..
1. BRAG ON YOURSELF… Don’t be ashamed to brag about yourself to yourself. Be the best hype man you know. You should wake up and while you’re getting dressed for the day give yourself a super bowl speech about how DOPE you’re. You can conquer anything, your fears included. Don’t let your thoughts, self-doubt, or your doubters make YOU think you aren’t a FABULOUS BEAST that can conquer ANYTHING…
This list has helped me over the months and I hope that you can find motivation in it also. We all have battles and insecurities that we have to work through but sometimes when you get the right tools, some of those battles just don’t seem so unattainable anymore. You have to build your armor so strong that those rough moments and those moments meant to leave broken will be nothing but a speed bump to a giant. You will look back and wonder what took you so long and that you’re stronger than you thought. You’re a force to be reckoned with and the greatness thrives in you. All you have to do is believe it…..