Dear My Friend,

Heyyyyy boo! ( I mean that’s how I talk lol )
I have been thinking about you lately. Not sure why but you have been heavy on my mind. I was thinking about the person you use to be before this whole “situation. You were this amazing energy! With everything you go through along with what you have been able to accomplish, it’s nothing short of extraordinary. I’ve always wanted to ask you, “ How did you find your purpose while living in such a toxic relationship”? In the past, I didn’t think people could do that, so I admire that you were able to pull something beautiful out of a not so beautiful bag. You have changed my whole outlook on the subject. I’ve watched you become a butterfly within a storm, and I must admit it has been both motivating and sad to witness. Even though I’m proud of you, I hate that you live in such a draining atmosphere. I’ve listened to you cry and heard the heartbreak in your voice, but I’ve also witnessed your dreams come true. It breaks my heart to think the person you love is purposely breaking you down. But, what to do when you notice some of his “good” qualities helped you find your light and your purpose. Weird huh? Witnessing you find your muted voice while living in what you thought was a great connection just to watch you fall mute again as he snatched it away is devastating. Watching the growth and progress, you have made while in your complicated union leaves me torn but also inspired because we can’t deny the fantastic things you have accomplished.

Yes, this complicated relationship birthed businesses, children, properties, degrees, and a mountain of other things that brought stability, but it left your happiness in the wind. So as a friend, do I encourage you to stay, or do I help you pack? Are those things an even trade for your unhappiness? That is the real elephant in the room. Some folks are 100% okay with putting these things on the negotiating table against their happiness. Honestly, I don’t think it’s worth it, but that’s just little ole me. It infuriates me to see him encourage you but belittle you, help you to get degrees but don’t want you to use them, and boldly don’t care if you’re happy or not as long as you don’t leave him. The way I see it, this person is saying and showing you that you can get out there but not “tooo” out there, you can position yourself to succeed, but don’t forget that I put you in the position to do so, and I will take every opportunity I can to let you know your place. Please don’t take my words as though I’m trying to beat you while you’re down because that isn’t what I’m trying to do at all. I know it’s not for me to understand, yet for some reason, I wish I could. Watching you lose your smile was a disservice to everyone around you because you have the kind of smile that lights up a room, and you have the most unbelievable personality to match. But, I want you to know I saw your smile on video chat today, and it was a blessing to see. I’m so happy that your beautiful and carefree smile is slowly coming back. Your skin is even looking more vibrant. I understand that you’re scared of what’s to come, but I want you to know that that’s not fear you feel. That’s adrenalin! It’s pumping through your body, getting it prepared for the much-needed battle that you will soon face. All of the pain you have endured were lessons, but this moment is your TEST. So don’t waste all that study material you have in your vault. GOD already made your happy place!

Love Fabulously Flawed and Tryin

“Broken Girls Blossom Into Warriors”

~By Unknown

I have a feeling you all are looking at my letter like “OH MY” that was deep. You could also be wondering if I’m talking about myself. I will NOT tell (lol)!

I wrote this “letter to a friend” to show you that friends who truly LOVE you hate to see you hurt or beatdown. We will take it personally and want to protect you. I also wanted to show that there is a lesson in every storm, even the ones you think you won’t be able to escape. Those moments when you might have sold yourself short, in the beginning, can ironically turn into something worthwhile and purposeful in the end. Mistakes in love happen all the time, and that’s ok. But, it isn’t ok to ignore the red flags. Love can sometimes make us blind to those flags and, in some cases, could put our lives in danger. Love is an array of different emotions, but it should NEVER break your spirit. Notice that in the letter, this friend was able to find her light within a horrible storm, and so can you.

Remember, you have people who care about you and know when something is off with you. It’s not always about someone being a hater but someone noticing that something that was once bright is now dark. So remember, troubles never last forever, and you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. If you’re in a relationship you know isn’t showcasing your worth and muting your voice, you just take it slow, confide in a friend, build your confidence, and realize that you’re worthy of genuine happiness. Compromise is love; control is not. So be blessed and know that it’s not the end of the world if you happen to choose the wrong one to love as long as the result of that mistake is you finding self-love. Trust the process and trust the lessons.



  1. Omg omg omg! When I asked for friendship blog posts to read in Black Women Who Blog on Facebook, I had no idea I would come across something so compelling and spot on to what I am feeling at this moment (both as the ‘friend’ you’re talking to AND and the ‘friend’ who has been me, myself, and I just recently. I am bookmarking this post and will most likely read and reread this many times in the future! Thank you for this. Thank you for sharing this. And thank you for the delivery, compassion, and truth you poured out in this post. I needed to hear this and so do many other women.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this letter! It’s hard for some people to understand that when someone cares, they care for real. You don’t want to interrupt their path with “selfish” love but you just need them to know that you want to. This “letter” gives a bit of insight into the thoughts of a best friend. Its stuff that can’t always be said…this was an amazing read. I can’t wait for the next one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much for this wonderful read. Up at 6:30 needing some motivation in my life and God took me right to your Blog. Thank you for inspiring me with truth in my life. Blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re more than welcome. I would like to thank you for your kind and motivating words of encouragement. GOD always knows exactly what we need and he will lead our hearts to it. I’m glad that you enjoyed this entry it really means a lot to me. many blessing to you❤️


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